A mother is never alone.
I remember during pregnancy reading the words “When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. You are connected to your child and to all those who touch your lives. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.”
I didn’t quiet understand these words the days following Little Mirchi’s birth. You see, becoming a mother changes everything. There is so much they don’t tell you when you sign those discharge papers at the hospital. Of course they prepare you for things like putting the baby in a car seat, feeding, changing a diaper, and general things. But they don’t tell you how exhausted you will feel those initial days, how uncertain you will feel about your skills as a mother, or how lonely you will feel while staring down at your pump, counting every little drop. Every day will suddenly feel like the longest day ever.
Motherhood is the most magical experience, but it can also feel extremely isolating. I was so blessed to have my mother by my side to remind me everyday that I wasn’t alone in my journey and I would learn everything as each day passed. Once I made amends that I wasn’t going to have all the answers, that some days would be harder than others and that I wasn’t alone in this journey, the words of Sophia Loren echoed in everything I did.
You’re in every love song I hear.
You’re in my daily prayers.
You’re the first thing I look forward to in the morning and in my nightly dreams.
You’re the “I can” in my doubts and the “I will” in my goals.
You’re my patience when I think I’ve totally lost it.
You’re the reason why Papa and I yell less when we fight and the reason we make up so quickly.
You’re the secret ingredient in my recipes and the reason I’m always willing to learn more.
You’re the confidence behind the bare face I’m comfortable in walking out in.
You’re in my anger when you have a full blown tantrum while I’m balancing groceries and your slippery little body.
You’re the pride I feel when I see you do something new and show me in excitement.
I worry about you all the time, I love you all the time, and I know because of you I will never be alone.
Happy 3rd Birthday my Little Mirchi, you are so loved, mera bacha.